I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
