I must be too annoying 4 u.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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