went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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