I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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