Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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