kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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