I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
