I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
