My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
