I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
being pregnant is like rehab
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
