upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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