let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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