Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
