Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
