do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
