Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
