im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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