Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
