After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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