I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
