overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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