worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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