Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think I died a long time ago.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
