I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
