I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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