Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
