ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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