i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
