That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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