so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
