If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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