And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
