I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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