She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
