he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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