is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
