she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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