I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
