If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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