How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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