Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
