doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just pee around me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
