i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize