4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
