should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
