I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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