dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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