Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
