I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
