Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
