chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
