he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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