While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize