i jhust puked up my retainher.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
