Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
