i don't like sucking hair
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
