i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
