I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
