Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have aggressive nipples.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
