I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
