this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I didn't notice because vodka
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
