I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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