hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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