how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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