We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
