And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Everclear isn't food dammit
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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