you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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