batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize