lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
