just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
