that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
