you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
