Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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