Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
