sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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